so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
