How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
