So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So. Much. Porn.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
