I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
