dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize