Life is so much better after having sex.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
