MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
