Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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