i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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