wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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