i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
