I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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