somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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