Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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