So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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