Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
