Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i dont even know how to be here
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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