Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
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