He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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