i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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