He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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