my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
