I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
