I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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