you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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