census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
