Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
