i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
