shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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