You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
what day is it and did you see me today?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
