Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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