Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Watching her eat just hurts me
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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