is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
