Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize