I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
