Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
