butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize