Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
