Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
