cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
