I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
