can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
