Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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