is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
