dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
