found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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