Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
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