apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
