I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
