Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
