have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
