Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
