HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
