Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
