What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
