Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
