Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My bed smells like the plague
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
