nut hugger
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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