after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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