come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
