Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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