I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Let's get the cat blown out
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
