It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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